Pearl's body crumples beneath the pain with a useless sputter of protest, fingers unfurling limply from her palms. The burst of energy from moments before has completely dissipated now, the last remaining specks ground to nothing beneath the woman's heel.
And when she speaks to her, that voice pierces through the fog encasing her mind, stabbing into the one spot at it's core that's yet to be consumed by hunger.
Kill me--
Kill--
Pearl wheezes out a strangled breath as a shudder shakes her pale frame, all the way from the crown of her head to her cold, cold toes. Whatever possessed her features seems to drain away, leaving blue eyes gaping open, parted lips dripping with still-fresh blood.
The realization is sharp and cold enough to scatter the haze in a matter of moments. Pearl almost killed her. No-- she would have, if she could.
Isn't that exactly what she tried to run away from?
"I can't. I won't do it."
"He died a gentle death, Pearl. He was sedated to complete unconsciousness when I snapped his neck -- as brief and painless as can be, I promise."
"That doesn't matter! This was a person! He had a life, he had a family, he was somebody, and now I'm going to just... feed from him? Like he's nothing?"
"Refusing won't bring him back, now."
Pearl had said nothing, only stared down in the floor with a set jaw and trembling fists.
"Sweetheart," a hand beckoned at her shoulder, smoothing down her back, "we all need to eat. That instinct is part of you; there's no use trying to outrun it. It will catch up, every time. And when it does, dear Pearl, I promise you'll regret it."
She was right. She was so, so right, and Pearl was so stupid.
"I... I, ah..."
Her attempt to speak is indistinguishable from moans of pain, and Pearl's chest heaves in a desperate attempt to summon air from her black, dead lungs. Did she really believe she knew better? She thought she could-- what? Escape it? Rise above it? Defeat it, somehow?
Of course not. This is what she is, now.
In that moment, she breaks. The dam of sticks and dirt she'd struggled to hold up shatters effortlessly beneath the reality: she will never be a person again. She will never be able to go back to her life. This body is no longer hers to control -- it is a vicious, mindless, ever-starved animal, and she is trapped within.
Whatever semblance of her is left.
The sob tears through her throat like the cry of the dying, raw and warbled and pleading for help when it's already far, far too late. "I'm s-so sorry," Pearl whimpers against the floor, body quaking so hard that her teeth clack together with every word. "I'm s-sorry. I'm a monster."
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And when she speaks to her, that voice pierces through the fog encasing her mind, stabbing into the one spot at it's core that's yet to be consumed by hunger.
Kill me--
Kill--
Pearl wheezes out a strangled breath as a shudder shakes her pale frame, all the way from the crown of her head to her cold, cold toes. Whatever possessed her features seems to drain away, leaving blue eyes gaping open, parted lips dripping with still-fresh blood.
The realization is sharp and cold enough to scatter the haze in a matter of moments. Pearl almost killed her. No-- she would have, if she could.
Isn't that exactly what she tried to run away from?
"I can't. I won't do it."
"He died a gentle death, Pearl. He was sedated to complete unconsciousness when I snapped his neck -- as brief and painless as can be, I promise."
"That doesn't matter! This was a person! He had a life, he had a family, he was somebody, and now I'm going to just... feed from him? Like he's nothing?"
"Refusing won't bring him back, now."
Pearl had said nothing, only stared down in the floor with a set jaw and trembling fists.
"Sweetheart," a hand beckoned at her shoulder, smoothing down her back, "we all need to eat. That instinct is part of you; there's no use trying to outrun it. It will catch up, every time. And when it does, dear Pearl, I promise you'll regret it."
She was right. She was so, so right, and Pearl was so stupid.
"I... I, ah..."
Her attempt to speak is indistinguishable from moans of pain, and Pearl's chest heaves in a desperate attempt to summon air from her black, dead lungs. Did she really believe she knew better? She thought she could-- what? Escape it? Rise above it? Defeat it, somehow?
Of course not. This is what she is, now.
In that moment, she breaks. The dam of sticks and dirt she'd struggled to hold up shatters effortlessly beneath the reality: she will never be a person again. She will never be able to go back to her life. This body is no longer hers to control -- it is a vicious, mindless, ever-starved animal, and she is trapped within.
Whatever semblance of her is left.
The sob tears through her throat like the cry of the dying, raw and warbled and pleading for help when it's already far, far too late. "I'm s-so sorry," Pearl whimpers against the floor, body quaking so hard that her teeth clack together with every word. "I'm s-sorry. I'm a monster."